Happy Birthday Google. I give thanks for…

To celebrate Google’s eighth birthday, let’s count the ways Google has affected my life and productivity.

• Thanks for being first to provide free 2GB email account.
• Thank you for Google Desktop. It’s the only utility I can use to find my Outlook emails on my Windows PC. Outlook search and even the Lookout plugin don’t do a decent job.
• Thanks for Picasa. (Loved it, but I switched to Mac and now enjoy iPhoto.)
• Thanks for the free Blogger tool, which I used to kick off my blogging hobby.
• Thanks for collecting unimaginable terabytes of data about my private surfing habits.
• Thanks for more free tools than I’d ever need. (Writely, Spreadsheet, Maps, Google Talk, Google Trends, Google Base, Google Page Creator)
• Thanks for Google Earth, so geeks can debate endlessly whether they found a topless sunbather in the satellite images.
• Thanks for Google News, especially the news alert tool.
• Thanks for providing a fertile ground for click fraud and spam blogs (splogs).
• Thanks for scanning books and getting copyright holders all riled up.
• Thanks for introducing names like “Orkut” into popular vocabulary.
• Thanks for making it easy for everyone to put annoying ads on their Web sites.
• Thanks for the Google Store, which makes it easy to buy useless stuff, such as a Pet T-shirt, Google License Plate Frame, Google Blinky Pin, Google Bike Shorts and Google Gum.
• No thanks for Fruggle. I don’t get any value out of it.
• Thanks for inciting the rumor mongers to whisper about a possible Google operating system.
• And thanks for free wi-fi in a part of the country I don’t live anywhere close to.

Wow, that probably only scratches the surface. So, here’s what I expect to see before Google’s ninth birthday:

• Church of Google. (Churgle?)
• A Google credit card. (And not a silly affinity card for a major lendor, Like “Star Trek” or “Battlestar Galactica” or “Elvis”)
• Google gas stations. (Petroogle?, Gasoogle?)
• Google mobile phones. (Moboogle?)
• Google dog walking service. (Doogle?)
• Google satellite radio.
• Google Death Ray.
• Google generic brand food to replace America’s Choice, Shopper’s Choice, Kirkland, etc.
• Google notebook batteries (Noogle?) to replace all the low quality, recalled ones that Sony sold via Apple, Dell and others.
• Google lawn seed. My grass looks horrible year after year, no matter what I do. I hope the folks in Google HQ get on that one. I want thick, green and weed-free.

Have a great year!
-Roland

Roland Reinhart is an interactive marketing professional who embraces Google in his daily life. His observations can be found at Chaos365.com and AdMadMan.com.

©2006 Roland Reinhart. All Rights Reserved.