Greeting cards for men

Countless times I’ve stared blankly at rows of insanely boring greeting cards trying to find the least flowery card to buy. (I use the same strategy for voting at election time — I exercise my right to pick the lesser of two evils.)

It’s hard enough to figure out a few, manly words to write inside, without having to settle on lousy designs and messages.

In my head, I envision the worst workplaces on Earth must be greeting card sweat chops where former English majors toil at desks to come up with mile after mile of insane dribble. Failure ensures the wrath of being whipped by a ruthless grammar task master.

If it was up to me, I’d design greeting cards with rugged exteriors — brushed steel or recycled rubber tire treads. Plus useful features. Open it up and a flame ignites. Or a card that doubles as a universal TV remote.

Come on, don’t you think that special lady would appreciate a circuit board card that said something like:
“You electify me”
“You complete me” (complete the circuit, get it?)

Okay, I guess that’s why I work in marketing. Until my dream is is given life, I may have to settle for the stylings of the Nutz and Boltz Card Co., which produces a line of greeting cards specifically designed for men. Their goal is to reduce the angst of men such as myself who dread looking for greeting cards.

Hope you find this useful.
-Roland

Roland Reinhart is an interactive marketing professional. His observations can be found at Chaos365.com and AdMadMan.com.

©2006 Roland Reinhart. All Rights Reserved.